David’s Prayer

David’s Prayer

I am very irritated these days, irritated with everything. After a weeklong viral fever anyone will get into such PVFD (Post Viral Fever Depression). I think true love for my boyfriend Dr. Mashoor Gulati is increasing day by day. I can’t stop thinking about him. I love him that much. I am even adopting his mannerisms………..Ohhh what a busy day?

 

 

Finally, my 7-year trial is going to end by next June, I mean June 2017. My Ketu dasa is getting completed. Let me put it like this, I survived a dangerous time period in life. Usually, people tend to finish their life, but me, by the grace of my lord I survived. The first 3 years was really messy, risky and painful. Then on 2013, I took time for myself…….I went for a lonely stay for 6 months in Bangalore for a retrospect. I was thinking “what the Eff am I doing? My soul was asking me; don’t you want a break in life? What value am I adding to MY life? God gave me this life. What the eff sm I giving back to him?”

 

 

A 6 month’s retrospect put my life in a different dimension altogether. I was an astrologer then also….but I never ever bothered to study my chart. One cold morning in Bangalore, I downloaded an astrology software on my laptop and went to Cubbon park and for the first time in my life I took my birth chart and saw how my Lord has designed me. From that day onwards………I did not look back to my life or never allowed my life to grip me . Then onwards what I sought was just my lord’s grace and love.
The first time I saw my astrology chart I was so astonished….It is a very hopeless chart, to be frank. Out of 10 astrologers, I met till then, 9 of them wrote of my chart as hopeless with intense Sanyas Yoga. That means I can’t live like an ordinary woman. I should not have an association with ordinary people as well, even if it is mother or father. Looking at the Moon-Saturn conjunction in Navamsha , I was really really upset. Then only I understood why my parents always gave me a step –parental treatment. There were times in my life where I openly denied and doubted my parents to be my own parents. I asked them so many times for a DNA test. Because me and my parents had a difficult relationship always………….During my childhood, I was wondering why my parents are so unfair to me. What they can do? They can only obey the signals of the universe. Until then I had so much of hatred towards my parents but when I saw that conjunction my whole hatred vanished. I must have done some wrong to this man and woman in my past birth. I am paying back to them through my pains .and somehow I wanted to release myself from that Karmic debt. If they abuse me, let them………all I am doing is releasing myself from that Karmic bondage.

 

 

 

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Whenever you have a Moon and Saturn conjunction in your chart that majorly shows a step parental treatment. Lack of love, care and nourishment from parents. I donno the reason behind that, but as a person who sees past birth as a valid matter, I strongly believe that I did some serious crime against this Man and woman in the past birth who are originated as my parents in my present birth. They are doing their Karma.  They are here to persecute me, so that I can look upto my lord who is my true creator…………….they are just into a passive mode.  I am no one to block it. The moment I release myself from this Karmic debt, my relationship with them will go fine. From that moment onwards I started looking at parents in my present birth in a different angle. That truly mellowed my internal turmoil regarding the parental approach. All I did had only one intention……….release myself from this bondage. This man and woman should get peace. I have never seen my parent’s chart, but I don’t think that they are destined to moksha in this birth. That is in the Lord’s hand, but when we practice astrology and theology for long, we will get to know who has the closer chances to have moksha. I don’t think my parents have that capability to break their Karmic bondage.They have to take birth again and die again and their Karmic cycle has to go through many births and deaths.
One month back , I was spending time with my parents and described them how this conjunction worked in my life and they don’t have to feel sorry for hurting me or I should not feel overwhelmed by the kind of disunity between me and them. I taught them the significance of Moon’s placement, Sun’s placement and I took an hour long class on liberation as well. I told them” It was destined to happen, so it happened. Now you have to make sure you don’t carry these debts to your next life.” I dunno whether they understood or not. They always say that” Our daughter is little off” LOL.

 

 

 

 

 

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This is just one factor in the chart, but the entire chart was looking very risky. Now when I have understood the programming, all I have to do is calling upon the programmer. It’s none other than my Lord Almighty.
Astrology can’t do anything more than giving inputs about your personality, life, health, career and so and so. If you want a perfection and satisfaction in your life you need the blessings of the lord. No other science can give you that enlightenment about your creation than astrology caN. If you ask me I would suggest that astrology should be taught in schools, it should be a session in motivational and corporate training classes. We should not run away from astrology, but we should reach a conclusion on how astrology can be used to bring more self-awareness.

 

 

 

I stayed in Bangalore for so many days. It is the city where I found myself and it gave me my life back. I love Bangalore for that reason. I simply went out in the darkness, just roamed around in the malls, went out for movie with my ex-colleagues who work in SAP , went to Shimoga, stood near the mighty river Bhadravathi, went Mc Donald’s with my friend Vaishnavi Kekuda, I wore a short dress plus stilettos and went to pub with my teacher ( as I was taking a certification course as well) She asked me whether I drink, since I don’t, she just took a beer. She asked me to take a beer also, but I don’t like such drinking and smoking. She was a young and beautiful woman. She is acting in a serial in ETV also. She was living in with a guy from a remote place in Bangalore. She explained to me how she miss him and how she enjoys kissing and hugging and doing wonderful bed activities in the cold climate of Bangalore. Well, apni Apni life hey……..

 

 

 

She had a younger brother, who used to come to my class. He was working in an IT company in Hyderabad. He resigned the job and hunting for the job in Blr. I became very good friends with this siblings and three of us used to go and have Biriyani . …….They had a great fascination for Kerala, the amount of jewels we wear…….I don’t wear any jewel , so they were wondering and asking why am I not wearing any jewels.

 
I was running short of money, but my friends were so gracious to send me money as 3000s, 5000s into my account and till date they haven’t asked me back. They refused when I gave back….they said you enjoy your life, but come back as a new woman. I promised them yes and I did.

 

 

My lord took care of me through a long time of crisis and pain due to lack of career growth, pains from my son’s disease, an internal crisis, poor health and financial crunch.

 

 

 

I will take you to the holy scriptures Psalm 63:

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name, I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips, my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.
9 Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

 
David, who was shepherd boy, was chosen to rule the Kingdom of Israel. Israel was under the rule of King Saul, who was chosen by God, but later became evil and he wanted to kill David out of jealousy. David was Saul’s son-in-law. Saul’s intention was to kill David.
So David is running away from Saul and staying in a desert. Since people loved David more than King Saul, King wanted to kill him. David and his fellow men lived in the dessert for almost 7 – 8 years out of the King’s fear.

 

 

 

It is a real horror being alone in life. Living alone, without dear and near around that too in a dessert. For me, I am ok with loneliness as I have a lonely Moon. I may love to become lonely, but a person like David would never ever like to be in a tough situation. I used to read the story of Queens in England like Anne Boleyn, and so many other princes who were destined to live alone with the fear of death.

 

 

 

Here David is fighting for his survival. He knows King Saul is after his life. So, there is no another way than calling up on the Lord.

 

 

 

Even though none was ever after my life, I also have gone through stress and pain and called upon my Lord ……Now a day’s 24*7 I do that.

 

 

 

Ps63:6 On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

 

 

 

David is unable to sleep out of fear and he is keeping his trust and faith only in the Lord. He is holding onto the Lord. He knows only the Lord can save him from the fear and destruction which is possibly waiting for him. David, so far he led a righteous life don’t see any reason for such a great pain in his life, but he is not questioning the Lord’s righteousness here.
At times I used to question God by numbering my qualities like

• I haven’t hurt anyone
• I haven’t done this
• They have done this still they are enjoying their life
• I helped them, but my life still sucks
• Why you don’t see my good deeds
• You are unjust
Bla blab la……

But, the lord is one kind. He is not bothered about our numbered sentiments. He has some plan……..we truly dunno what exactly is that. Actually, no one knows. Even the no1 astrologer in the world can’t say what God has in store for one. What happens tomorrow can’t be predicted by anyone.

 

 

 

As we go through the psalms, we can see David courageously facing all his problems. He even got a chance to kill Saul, but he doesn’t do that. He is waiting to win the battle with righteousness. He is trusting the lord and depending on the lord. Sometimes his prayers become like mine, like promoting himself, but majorly he is showing his trust in the lord itself. Finally looking at his trust the Lord is anointing him as the King of United Israel.

 

 

 

He is enduring. Actually, most of us lack endurance. Lack of endurance is the real reason behind all the downfalls, suicides, fights, quarrels and pains. If we have to have endurance, we should stand on a solid foundation. In psalms, we can see him calling God as a rock. He is sure God is standing with him firmly. If we are not standing on that rock we are not unshakable. Our pains, worries, and troubles will grip us and put us down.

 

 

 

This where our concept of god becomes important. I am a monotheist and I don’t follow any particular religion. I am not a propagandist for any religion also. All I do is to find god in every religious principle. My god does not have any shape or any particular language. It doesn’t need a specific place to listen to me. It doesn’t need a specific mode of worship. It accepts me even though I go through my menstrual cycle. It is given by that force. My lord is bigger than the entire universe and he doesn’t need any substitutes, he can’t die or get killed or born again for any cause, symbols, any particular day, muhurta , any equipment to act.   That force is beyond all the human concepts of purity……………I love my LOrd …..  Noone can say what his plans are and all we have to do is doing Good Karma according to his standards.

 

 

 

As far as I know, the lord is looking for a heart to heart conversation. It will surely open up our wisdom so that we can deal with our burdens. It will make our burdens light, I can move ahead with a date without my lord. I will land in all kind of problems. Like David, I also like to remember my Lord 24*7. Lord …what he wants is the same as far as I know.

 
8 I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.
9 Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.

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