“Finding Love and Marriage Compatibility with Astrology

I recently had a conversation with one of my astrology students, a working professional who is married with a nine-year-old child. Our topic was marriage, as he was struggling deeply in his own. Knowing him well, I can vouch for his respectful and gentle nature. The primary challenge in his life is the unhappiness rooted in his marriage. Despite his efforts to make the relationship work, his wife’s contribution appears minimal.

As he also studies astrology, he has come to realize that marital happiness wasn’t promised in his horoscope, and he has chosen to accept it. This acceptance has brought him peace, reminding me of John 8:32 from the Bible: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Knowing this truth has liberated him from unrealistic expectations, allowing him to focus more on his studies, career, his astrology practice, and his child’s education.

I know at least ten astrologers who have refrained from marriage upon recognizing a lack of promise in their charts. One woman astrologer I know chose to live with a partner, yet one day he vanished without a trace. Though she knew her chart didn’t favor a lasting love life, she took the risk, perhaps out of hope. She once critiqued another astrologer, Kapiel Raaj, for not being a Brahmin and thus, in her view, unqualified to practice astrology. Yet, despite her heritage and credentials, she herself was abandoned.

Relationship consultations are indeed complex, and at times, I feel uneasy interpreting charts for clients. One client from Maharashtra sought my guidance after a divorce. When I mentioned that marriage isn’t guaranteed for everyone, she became so frightened she requested a refund, even before the actual consultation—a relief for me, as explaining this face-to-face can be challenging.

In 2023 and 2024, I conducted many relationship consultations, often needing to be blunt about the realities I saw in clients’ charts. One young woman, a cabin crew member, had endured multiple relationships and abortions, yet continued searching for true love. Many clients like her seek that elusive “soulmate.” Over time, I stopped sugar-coating predictions about delayed marriages, realizing it was more helpful to be honest.

As a realistic astrologer, I don’t subscribe to the romanticized concept of soulmates. Soulmates, as portrayed in popular belief, simply don’t exist. Our souls are not bound to just one; in countless lives, we form karmic bonds with many. Fixating on a single soulmate notion overlooks this complex past.

Today, relationships come in various forms—live-in, extramarital, LGBTQIA+, situationships, long-distance, and even one-night stands. These varieties bring new complexities. From an astrological perspective, regardless of marital status, it’s crucial for Mars and Venus to align well without negative aspects. Mars, representing youth and vitality, plays a vital role, especially as most relationships begin in one’s youth. Marriage, however, is transformative, and some individuals undergo drastic changes post-marriage, for better or worse.

For women, Venus ideally should have a lower degree than Mars, as this supports the traditional role of a man guiding his partner, as symbolized in the word “bridegroom.” Yet, Adam couldn’t “guide” either his first wife, Lilith, or his second, Eve, resulting in complicated relationships. If Mars and Venus are well-placed, one may find early love, while Jupiter’s position often determines relationship quality after marriage for women. Poor Jupiter placements correlate with challenging marital outcomes, a common pattern I’ve observed.

Some clients are overly focused on their Navamsa (divisional chart) rather than the Lagna (ascendant) chart, though I believe the Lagna chart holds the most weight. In my experience, I’ve never seen a “perfect” relationship—only those built on compromise and sacrifice.

With today’s options, it’s easy to enter relationships but challenging to sustain them. I’ve seen individuals juggle multiple relationships, a scenario made more complex by the rise of bisexuality, which can disrupt stable relationships. Many are married yet have undisclosed bisexual leanings unknown to their spouses.

When asked, “Whom should I choose as a partner?” my response is that our partners, like our parents, aren’t ours to choose; it’s pre-determined by divine law. Marriage selection is no different from our choice of parents. Horoscope matching, in my view, doesn’t truly work, as compatibility goes beyond it.

Mercury’s placement is also essential as it governs communication—whether one is sweet, harsh, intelligent, or blunt. A strong Mercury favors positive communication, which is crucial in any relationship.

Of course, not all relationships are doomed. Many couples lead harmonious lives, but as my Guruji, Shree K.N. Rao, once said: “Until a woman realizes her freedom, the unit of family will exist. After that, no stable families.” This insight speaks to the changes in modern relationships and the pressures they face today.